Multiplayer Married Mayhem: Playing Halo 5 With My Wife

“Hahaha, eat Sh@!, you a$$ licking douche nugget”. If you have heard these (or similar) words uttered before while a player is relentlessly tea-bagging you, and jumping up and down like a buffoon wasting all his ammo… You were lucky enough to play against facebutt568. And, his Wife!!! Her buffoonery is the less aggressive fart noise after a “from the grave” kill. This is about all of the poop talking I can get out of her after convincing her how cool Halo is. And the only time she will turn the mic on. So, if you have been killed from the grave and received a little fart noise on your end, it was probably her.


My Wife Playing Halo 5
Screenshot of My Wife Playing Halo 5

I dragged her into this wonderful world at the tail end of “Halo Reach”. Then, after… trudging through “Halo 4” (yes trudging), she has become quite skilled at the art of killing, and bagging. As I finished that last sentence, I was frozen in horror as she and what looked like a first time player engaging in a sit still, aiming at the waist, assault rifle fire fight… from a “Warthog’s” distance away. Ok, so she doesn’t get 20 kills Every game, but damn is it fun to watch the love of your life enjoying online multiplayer killing action with the same zeal as you.
Having five children, we do not get to play every night, but even if we can squeeze in just one match each on most nights, it’s always worth it. I’m not sure if playing together in itself is something that has helped us grow stronger over the years, or if that’s just the natural course of our marriage. One thing is for certain though. It has definitely become a ritual of stress relief for the both of us. I’m not sure of the new scientific evidence for against that last statement, but it works for us. Anyway, not the moral of this story. This story actually has no moral.



We are a 42 and 37 year old couple (put us in whatever generation you want) with five children, crazy schedules, and we even go-to church… sometimes. Our children normally play “Roblox”, “Minecraft”, or an equivalent game, but the wife and I play “Halo 5” exclusively. This is probably due to my already profound love for the series. We both, and can ALL agree that COD is… meh! Her willingness to participate in the fun was the important part, and it honestly would not have mattered what game we decided to play together. I love the time we spend together playing “Halo 5”. We are definitely here to stay and play. I can only hope to one day hook a couple of ancient original Xbox’s together, and introduce our grandchildren to the “Halo” series, and explain what LAN is.
This is the first post in this series, and I can’t wait to share more with you. The videos and screenshots are from OUR game play.



Oh yeah, the moral of the story is just spend time together. It doesn’t really matter what it is, especially in these crazy times. Just spend time with the ones you love, and enjoy it 🙂



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